who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
