you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
