Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
