so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
