I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
