how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I lost the right to judge tonight
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
