if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i came on her dog
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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