I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
