I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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