Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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