there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
