with your own penis?
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
