how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
