What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
