Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
