I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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