everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
