The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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