Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
