Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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