those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
