I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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