you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
