Where did you get a picture of my penis
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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