i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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