It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
The air was thick with penises
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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