shes about as inviting as chlamydia
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
