I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
