Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
