Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
