I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
