He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
