Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
