we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
