My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
How external is "for external use only"?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
