U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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