There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Are my feet made of real feet?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
