you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
