Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
