I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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