if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
