The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
