I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
