Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
