This girl is more easily done than said...
I bet he comes in French.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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