Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
My life is pants optional.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
