there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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