I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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