giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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