I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
