i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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