Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
