White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Randomize
